I'm a Superhero

Shortly after Robert was born, my comic book loving daughter decided that I'm a superhero called, "The Mommy." My sidekicks are, "Sister Girl," "The Papa" and "The Joninator" (next best thing to the Terminator). Though I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound, I can, with the help of my faithful sidekicks, rescue "The Baby" from starvation, wet diapers and other mysterious maladies that cause unhappiness. The only flaw in this scenario is that if we're the superhero and sidekicks, that makes Robert, like Lois Lane, the damsel in distress.

Other Mommy

Julia is "Other Mommy." We're sure Robert believes he has four parents, since he lives with four adults. With school, sports, work and friends, Jon is very busy, so he doesn't see Robert as much as Julia does.


We discuss writing a children's book, "Robert Has Two Mommies." She was 22 when her baby brother was born. She was terribly excited. She skipped a college class, something she never did, to be at the hospital when he was born. She had arranged her schedule so she wouldn't have to get up early, but she got up at 6:00 the morning the day he was born. It was love at first sight. Only parents were allowed in the hospital nursery; she fretted and wanted to hold her brother.


She immediately was willing to help take care of him. At her Grandma's house, she watched Robert while I helped my mom run errands. When we got back, the dryer was running. Robert had a diaper that required a complete change of clothing and a bath, so she just cleaned him up and his clothes, too. She has cleaned up spit up. And spit out; he sometimes spits out food after chewing it up. (Why does he do that?) She could do anything that I could do for him, except breast feed him.

Julia is like a proud grandparent. Her brother is the cutest, smartest, funniest, most precious baby that's ever lived. "Anyone with a heart" would love him, she says. She was the first one he smiled at. He said his first word when she was singing, "Let's Go Fly a Kite" to him. "Up" occurs frequently in the song and he said it when she did. Because of my age (and hers), people often think she's Robert's Mommy. She doesn't always correct them, because she enjoys being "Other Mommy."

Giving Back

After I received so many baby clothes, so much baby furniture, so many baby accessories that I didn't know what to do, I wondered what to do as my son outgrew clothes, etc. I though about giving everything to Goodwill or The Salvation Army, but I wanted to give to someone I knew. A friend approached me and asked what I was doing with Robert's outgrown clothing. When I told her I planned to give it to a thrift store, she told me about a single young woman whose grandmother had kicked her out when she discovered her pregnancy. The young woman was staying with friends, working and trying to finish college. She was doing the best she could, but didn't have anything for her son, who was due in May. I gladly gave her my extra car seat, clothes that were too small, a baby sling my son never liked much and odds and ends of stuff I wasn't using. I had some baby items that were brand new when I gave them to her. She had quite a bit to get started with.

After I had my son, my hours at work were cut---from full time to one day a week and every third Saturday morning. I had sold a few items on ebay, so I decided to try selling more. I sold possessions that were taking up space and giving me little pleasure. I sold items I found at thrift stores. I sold games we seldom played. I sold some of the baby items Robert had outgrown. I know it would have been kinder to give everything to the single mother, but my income was so much less, it would have been hard to do so. And someone was getting a bargain by purchasing from me on ebay. After a bit, I discovered what would sell best on ebay.

When Robert was about nine months old, my sister-in-law called me to tell me she was pregnant. She is in her 40's like me. Unlike me, she has had several miscarriages, but everything looked good for this pregnancy. Her son is due in March, so I started saving everything Robert no longer needs for her. I didn't have clothing smaller than 12 month size, but little Caleb will grow to be that size before too long. It feels wonderful to save clothing and toys and other stuff for my son's new baby cousin.

Next time: Robert has two Mommies.

No Baby Clothes or Furniture or Toys

Pregnant at 47 (&48), you can imagine how many baby things I had. None. My "baby" was 17 and I don't have the space or inclination to save clothes, furniture, toys or anything else that I'm not using. I did have a 12 month size Chicago Cubs warm up suit that my stuffed Snoopy had been wearing. That's it.

However, I worked in a small office with only 7 other employes, including the cleaning lady. One of my co-workers still had her son's baby clothes stored in her mother's basement. He was 11; his grandma had wanted the bags of clothing out of her basement for at least 10 years. So, she gave them to me. Another co-worker goes to yard sales a lot. She bought me clothes until I begged her to stop. I had more clothes than I needed. My only other c0-worker with a baby gave me a car seat that she didn't like. She had another she said fastened in the car more easily. My co-workers decided to give me a shower. They gave me diapers in a variety of sizes, wipes, toiletries, toys. The cleaning lady offerred to let me use her grandchildren's bassinett. I'd never had a bassinett before. It was very nice for Robert when he was small.

My sister had a next door neighbor with twin boys. She didn't plan to have any more chidren, so she offered me her children's clothes. They were very nice, gently used clothes. And there were lots. Twins need more clothes than a single baby.

Several ladies I go to church with wanted to give me a shower. They gave me almost no clothes. One lady insisted that the baby needed at least one new outfit. I love thrift stores and yard sales, so I don't know why he needed a new outfit, but she seemed to think he did. They gave me a very nice stroller and infant car seat, a breast pump, infant toys, gift cards, spit up clothes, socks (one item of clothing that doesn't seem to wear very well), pacifiers, diapers, wipes, toiletries, a bouncy seat. Too many things to list. And one lady found a crib for $5.00 at her neighbor's yard sale. I love a bargain!

My husband's sister and his brother's wife decided to give me a small shower. Cash, more diapers, stuffed animals, a baby swing.

I went from having nothing to needing nothing. All due to the generosity of friends, relatives and even one total stranger. I'm so thankful. I didn't buy diapers for months. I only bought baby shampoo a few weeks ago. They baby's 15 months old now.

And the giving continues. Friends from church have given me clothing from grandchildren or children. My mother-in-law has always given me more than I need to my children. After all, I had three of her four grandchildren.

Next time: Giving back!

Robert Arrives

On October 15, 2008, I gave birth to my third child, a healthy little boy. My husband and I named him for his grandpas, Robert Walter. And we gave him a second middle name, something we'd never done before. Isaac means "laughter", because Sarah (in the Bible) laughed when she was told she would have a son at 90. I wasn't 90 when Robert was born, but I was 48, pretty old to have a baby, short of divine intervention. My older "children", Jon and Julia, were 17 & 22, respectively, when their brother was born. I would not have chosen to have a baby at 48, but he is an unexpected blessing in so many ways.

Next time: What happened when I was pregnant at 47 with no baby things.